Patrick Jay Barbery, 70, long-time resident of Gloucester, passed away on March 13, after a nearly decade long battle with dementia and aphasia.
Jay was a loving brother, husband, father, grandfather, and friend who exuded patience, warmth, and kindness even as the disease progressed. Jay was cherished by those who knew him, and was surrounded by family when he passed.
Born in Bluefield, WV to Nadine Bushee Barbery and Thomas Albert Barbery, Jr. in 1954, Jay and his family lived in several states before settling in Virginia in 1964. Jay attended Denbigh High School and Thomas Nelson Community College, and worked as an Engineering Supervisor at Ball Metal Corporation in Williamsburg for many years until his retirement in 2013. He moonlighted as an electrician with his brother, and would drop what he was doing to help you fix whatever’s broken.
Jay loved to play basketball, racquetball, and tennis, host family cookouts, jetski on the Piankatank, go on ocean cruises, and wallop opponents in Scrabble and card games. He had a playful, competitive spirit and made you feel good about your game even while beating you. He could cut a rug and was a hilariously bad singer. Jay enjoyed road trips with his kids and visiting them in Alaska and the Pacific Northwest.
When asked how he was doing, he was known to reply “hunky dory, that’s my story” with a wide smile. If Jay was having a bad day, you never knew it. His kindness was contagious and set the bar high for those fortunate enough to spend time with him.
Jay was preceded in death by his wife Barbara and two of her children Ollie and Gee, his parents, his step-father Jack R. Waida, and his older brother Tom. Jay is survived by his former spouse Susan Waters, their children Nick, Kendall, Zack, and Brittany Barbery, four grandchildren Amos, Nolan, Winnie, and Hank, seven siblings Cassandra Jackson, Mike, James (Tony), Tim, and Kevin Barbery, Jayne W. Di Vincenzo and Dawn W. Bonner, his long-time friend Don Shelton, Georgene Jackson, Pattie Spears and close and extended members of the Burden family, and countless nieces, nephews, family members, and friends who will miss him dearly.
Though dementia clouded Jay’s final years, we remember him for the kind and loving person he was throughout his life. Join family and friends for a memorial visitation at Bucktrout of Williamsburg Altmeyer Funeral Home (4124 Ironbound Road), Wednesday, March 19 from 3 to 6 p.m.
